Personally, I feel that I have no room to talk. Most people watch those relationships and get incredibly caught up in them, no matter which view they take on the idea of will-they/won't-they's as a whole. They think that these kinds of relationships only happen on television, or if they do happen in real life it's only to people who are too stupid to say enough is enough.
Well, I can't really claim that the latter part of that is wrong, but I can tell you that as someone who has fallen prey to two consecutive back-and-forth's, they do actually exist in real life.
Let me first say that all of that fun you have watching them on tv? That excited, frustrated need for your fave couple to figure it all out? Yeah, that doesn't exist. In real life, everyone is rooting against you. Personally, I think that greatly contributes to the failures. If all of your closest friends are rolling their eyes and telling you he's not worth it, at what point do you start listening?
It's funny, because I have a friend who started dating her boyfriend over a year ago, and everyone has loved them and supported them the whole time. The frustrating thing for me is that I seem to be the only one who sees just how flawed their relationship is. It's too perfect, too flawless. They don't talk about the important stuff enough and they like to pretend they're completely happy, when in fact I think they're both just content. I think they're too scared to ask for more, and that makes me sad for them. I've no doubt they care about each other, but what about that extra something, that thing that makes a relationship really last?
Again, though, it's not that I would know a lot about lasting relationships. Not personally, at least. I guess you could say I'm kind of the relationship guru of my friends. They come to me for advice or just to vent, and I listen and offer my input when needed. It's really great to be able to help them so much, but it really sucks to not be able to take my own advice. One of the perks of will-they/won't-they's is that you get the experience of like fifty different (excuse my hyperbole) relationships in one neat package. I know so much in part because I'm just a really intuitive thinker, and in part because I've experienced a whole heck of a lot given that I've only had two real boyfriends.
Another thing that contributes to my infinite wisdom is seeing my brother's and my parents' relationships. My brother has only had one really serious girlfriend, but it was a long relationship and he matured a lot because of it. My parents have had their ups and downs through the course of their lives, but they have been very happily and very successfully married to one another for nearly thirty years now. In a way, I feel somewhat jipped by their happiness, like I never got to see how people work through the rough spots and instead only got to see the ideal dream. But that also helps me to see what a great relationship can be like, though I may not want their exact relationship for myself.
But here I am, intuitive, experience-filled, and extremely thoughtful of others, and I have now fallen into the trap of a back-and-forth relationship twice in a row. I've never experienced a healthy relationship. I've never had the opportunity to be truly happy with another person, and that makes me really sad. My relationships have been bottomless wells of gossip and criticism and no one, not even my very best friends, want me to find happiness in them. Because really, they're aware of something I just can't bring myself to see: if we're having that much trouble finding a way to be happy together, it probably won't ever happen. Happiness with someone can have difficult spots, but it shouldn't always be hard. Unfortunately, by the time I realize this, I'm usually in too deep to pull myself out, because I've spent so much time wanting happiness that I've given the relationship the benefit of the doubt, until I finally decide that I need it to happen. I would love to end up with a Chuck and Sarah kind of relationship (preferably with the hotness of Sarah and the nerdiness of Chuck), but how realistic is that actually? I'm a very strong-willed, strong-minded person, and I don't have self-confidence issues, so why am I putting myself through this? What I really need is to find a way to stop myself next time, to see the warning signs and do something about it. If any of you have any experience or ideas, feel free to let me know below. I know that I can't be the only one suffering from this problem, and I'm sure we would all be forever grateful if you found a fix.
In the mean time, check out this great list that has some of the greatest will-they/won't-they relationships of all time: http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20304425_20670120,00.html#21273144
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