I Am An Empath.

My name is Kate Bowden and I am an empath.  If you ever type this word into your computer or smart phone, you will probably notice that beneath it appears the little red line that angrily and obstinately tells you this is not a word.  Well, no.  No, it's not.  But "empathy" is a word.  Now, many of you out there will hear this word and think that it's a synonym for sympathy.  Perhaps you even use the words interchangeably in your daily life.  But actually, there is a difference.
Webster’s Online Dictionary describes sympathy as “an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other.”  Webster's also describes empathy as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner.”  They’re pretty wordy, right?  In case you got a little overwhelmed with all the impersonals and commas, this is basically what each one is saying (by my interpretation):

Sympathy: When something happens to one person, the other person feels similar emotions because these two people have some kind of relationship to one another, so they must be compassionate.
Empathy: Being sensitive to the emotions of others to the point of experiencing their feelings and thoughts vicariously, without those thoughts or feelings being explicitly communicated to you, and without feeling obligated to experience this compassion.

Well, there you go.  Webster’s wrote it, it must be true: there is a difference between sympathy and empathy.  The largest distinction that strikes me when reading these two definitions side-by-side is that sympathizing with someone implies some kind of common ground, or at the very least some kind of common emotion running between the two people.  Empathy requires no common ground.  Empathy requires no familiar experience, no intentional compassion.  Empathy (and here I depart from the Webster’s definitions) is driven by a feeling of love for another person.  A person needs only two things to experience it in full force: an emotional attachment to another individual and a natural, insatiable craving to bear as much of this individual’s burden as possible.  The latter part is particularly important, especially if you want to have that self-destructive, codependent thing going on.
Now, plenty of people in the world have some of these attributes in spades.  But they are missing the crucial word that separates a typical, loving person from an empath: insatiable.  Many people feel empathy for those they love in particularly difficult or particularly wonderful times, but even this is usually directed towards boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancées, spouses, or children.  An empath not only feels empathy towards a broader spectrum of acquaintances, but also finds this empathy everlasting.  They are constantly aware of the underlying emotions of those around them.  They feel the pain of a bitter remark directed towards a friend, they rejoice in an honor or award bestowed upon a loved one as if they, themselves, were the ones reveling in success.  Anger has a way of catching like wildfire in an empath, temporarily wiping out the ability to think anything but acidic thoughts about the angerer.  But most difficult of all is that biting, wall-crumbling, heart-gripping pain they feel for a loved-one who has been hurt.  It really can become the center of their universe, to the exclusion of their own problems, or sometimes just in addition to them.
To those of you who have never experienced this, I both congratulate you and feel sorry for you.  It hurts like hell, but this kind of love is unimaginable.  And if you ever have the chance to take that leap and feel it, don't hesitate.  It's worth it.
And to my fellow empaths, welcome.  Welcome to the story of a girl who went to college expecting to grow, and learn, and become someone new, but who never expected to discover so much untapped potential within her own self.  You've probably had different experiences than I have, and you've probably felt different things at different times in different ways.  But I am writing, hoping that you find some common ground, something that makes you realize you are not alone.  Because the only thing that got me through my emotional hard times was knowing that my best friend absolutely understood my insanity, and that I was not as crazy as I felt.  And if I was, who cared?  I was crazy with someone I loved.